graceless thoughts

beauty

2011-07-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

seriously sookie, beat it

2011-07-05T17:34:00.000-07:00

while this may be a super cheesy promo photo
i would let eric northman do a lot of things . . .

26

2011-07-03T20:34:00.001-07:00

today is my birthday

and for the first time in a long time i can say that this birthday was good
actually it was fantastic

surprise tickets to Wicked, once again solidifying kb's status as best friend TO THE MAX
dinner with my family
well cooked steaks
and brownie cupcakes

not to mention all the heartfelt birthday love sent my way from near and far
and i get to sleep in tomorrow
bonus

poison and wine

2011-07-03T20:12:00.000-07:00

stop signs

2011-07-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

and you
i wanna kiss you
so bad
that i'd chop off my own head
and just throw it towards your lips!

dear old love

2011-07-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

Every time I see that you’ve posted something on Facebook, I get the urge to drive over to your house and punch you. Every time.

is she reading my mind?

2011-05-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

guess who had a date last night?

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and not even a 'met online' date.
a real date, with a boy who apparently really likes me cause he kept asking me out even though i kept blowing him off. so anyway he wore me down (and by wore me down, i really mean 'got me drunk and kissed the hell outta me') and we went out last night.

and it. was. great.

he wouldn't tell me where we were going but said to dress nice (as if i wouldn't . . . please) and kept it a surprise until we got there.

'there' being a theater down town showing a play about two 'gothic clowns' Mump and Smoot who were truly funny and wonderful. two different groups of people came in late and both time the players stopped what they were doing and improved - basically giving them shit for coming in late. there were also puppets, a slow motion fight scene and a lot of fake blood. also the front row got wet. ps - we were in the front row - and I LOVED IT.

then we walked around down town to find a place for dinner - and he held my hand, so cute - i had the steak, he had the chicken, i ate the whole desert.

more walking down stephen ave. more hand holding. more cuteness.

i even got to play dj on the drive home, and we talked about music we loved.

this boy likes sarah bareilles! what?

he walked me to my door . . .

and oh man, the kiss . . .

its been awhile since i've had that weak in the knees feeling, i kinda forgot what it was like and man have i missed it.

so the lesson here kids, is this: give the boy a chance the first time he asks and you won't waste months not getting kissed. remember that.

2011-04-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

vancouver is 3 days
i can't mother effin wait to reunite with some of my best friends
i don't even care that its supposed to rain all weekend
i'm in the theater 15 hours a day anyway
what do i care?
as long as there are my favorite ladies
calamari, wine
and inappropriate backstage jokes
i'm happy

lets do this

2011-04-22T13:35:00.000-07:00

i enjoy this way too much.

oh man

2011-04-22T13:27:00.001-07:00

man i suck at blogging. there i admit it. i even briefly considered simply giving up.
calling it a day.
but i couldn't do it for whatever reasons.

much has been happening in my life lately.
work is crazy busy.
my competition kids are kicking ass and taking names.
many new opportunities seem to be coming my way.
more on that later.
also i have signed up for plentyoffish.com.
so far no dates, but some interesting correspondence has been exchanged.

one gentleman began by asking me "whats the point of life?" i thought maybe he was suicidal at first, turns out just a douche bag. i responded with a cute joke about french toast and naps which in turn earned me a diatribe on being a more open human being and "thinking outside the box'. so dreamy, am i right?

another fellow mentioned having a pog tournament as a first date (POG!), and i of course jumped right on that one. sadly he did not respond to my last message. sigh. i thought we might be soulmates.

many others simply ask if i wanna hook up, even though it clearly states in my profile that i do not. these get deleted without reply of course.

no dates yet, but i remain hopeful.

this conversation happened last night

2011-03-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

me: "there has been a pair of grey knit uggs in the front entrance for a few weeks now"
A: " and no one has claimed them?"
me: "nope."
A: "what size are they?"
me: "8"
A: " are they in good condition?"
me: " . . . yes . . . "
A: " did you already try them on?"
me: " . . . maybe . . . "
A: " you know our feet are the same size?"
me: "I ALREADY CALLED DIBS WOMAN"

those babies better get claimed soon or mamas gettin' some new boots

2011-03-03T12:44:00.000-08:00

i'm having this reoccurring dream:

i wake up, roll over to check the time and realize i am SERIOULSY late for class and start to panic
but then i hear strange noises outside my bedroom door
its my students
wondering why class hasn't started yet
the next thing i realize is that i am in my usual state of nocturnal dress; which is actually non-existence and of course this is the one time when there are no clothes lying on my floor
anything i may use to cover myself is all the way across the room in my closet
just as i decide to make a run for some clothes
the door opens and all my little peanuts come into my room
where i am still naked
i am scrambling to cover myself and think of a plan
when i wake up

WTF?

now the obvious meaning of this dream would be that i am worried about being unprepared for class right? but i am, as a rule, over prepared for life in general and teaching in specific.
so i ask again,

WTF?

enough subconcious, enough.

meow?

2011-02-10T10:53:00.000-08:00

i've realized a pattern in my life
i have a serious relationship
we break up
i'm single for 2-3 years after

soon it will be the 2 year mark again
which brings me hope that maybe it is time to meet someone new
and i am definitely ready for that to happen
i'm so done being single
naughty sex dreams have turned into sleeping in someones arms dreams
and i miss holding hands. desperately.

but now i'm wondering: why the 2-3 years?
why does my psyche feel the need to do this to me?
at this rate i'll be single forever
now i just have to decide what kind of sad single lady i want to be:
'wears to much make up and inappropraite clothing while hanging out at the bar' single lady?
or 'owns a lot of sweaters with cats on them' single lady?

so many choices . . .

agreed

2011-02-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Asswords

I hope you take the last words you said to me and shove them up your ass.

books have feelings too

2011-02-04T12:04:00.000-08:00

sometimes when i struggle to get through a book i feel guilty
like its my fault and not the books
especially when its a well known classic

tried to get through the sound and the fury
but i just couldnt do it
maybe im just not in the right mood right now
or maybe i just dont like faulkner

i also couldnt finish 'life as we knew it'
basically a meteor hits the moon, pushing it closer to the earth and shit goes crazy
the ocean rises, swallowing cities, earthquakes, volcanoes erupting everywhere
sounds interesting right?
meh
told through the diary entries of a 15 year old girl, i just couldnt connect to any of the characters
or the general story really
i think the diary entry style just felt too distant
i only made it half way through before i put it down

hopefully this new batch of library books will have something more promising in it

#9 : a photo i took

2011-01-30T11:16:00.000-08:00

flowers from a friend

day seven: a photo that makes me smile

2011-01-27T11:34:00.000-08:00

this photo makes me extremely happy
whilst camping for my bffs birthday two years ago
we splurged and took her lunch in a close by town
having been drinking for several hours already we made several scenes
but the employees seemed okay with us
and i assume that we were at least entertaining

anywho KB disapeared into the bathroom from which we began to hear strange and alarming noises, several minutes later KB came back out laughing but refused to spill the details
in the car on our way home she lifted up her shirt to reveal this sticker

it had previously been stuck to the feminine products dispenser
and was now attached to her belly with the remains of some industrial strength adhesive

it took several hours to get it off her.

and a horse named bob

2011-01-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

i'm pretty sure i have the best boss IN. THE. WORLD.
not only is she my boss she is one of my closest friends
mentor
inspiration
basic role model for life

two weeks ago we had a heart to heart talk about our respective pieces of work this year
i have taken over the hip hop program, all tap classes and the competitive musical theater groups.
plus the senior lyrical and intermediate jazz groups.
having a new baby and a husband going back to school, A felt she needed to take a step back from teaching so she can be a kick ass mama and wife. which she is.
but taking that step back has made her question her skills as a choreographer
(which is dumb. she will always be the measuring stick i hold myself up up)
during our heart to heart A revealed that she feels I have surpassed her choreographically and she is struggling to keep up.
this might be the greatest compliment i have ever received
i do not necessarily agree with her
but it is a huge confidence boost that she has so much belief in my work and is so supportive of my vision and creations.

also i babysat her little bundle of deliciousness for a few hours yesterday
addie passed out while reading books in the rocking chair
then woke up with the hugest smile ever
effing babies make my day

and i found out that i have a labeled toothbrush at A's house for when we have sleepovers
that warmed my heart

my boss is the greatest ever.

Day Six: whatever tickles your fancy

2011-01-26T17:29:00.000-08:00

yeah i skipped day 5,
i dont really have a favorite quote

but this does tickle my fancy:

learn it. love it. live it.

Day Four: Favorite Book

2011-01-25T15:13:00.000-08:00

finally, something i can give a single, definitive answer to!
absolutely and with out a doubt . . .

written on the body
by jeanette winterson

Love demands expression.
It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no.
It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid

Time that withers you will wither me.
We will fall like ripe fruit and roll down the grass together.
Dear friend, let me lie beside you watching the clouds until the earth covers us and we are gone.

You said, 'I love you.'
Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear?
'I love you' is always a quotation.
You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them.
I did worship them but now I am alone on a rock hewn out of my own body.

ugh . . .
the poetry!

Day Three: Favorite TV Shows

2011-01-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

I'm just gonna say this up front: I have terrible taste in television. seriously.

I love some actual good shows too, dont get me wrong

modern family
the big bang theory
greys anatomy
glee
snl

but i'm also addicted to bad reality shows

jersey shore obviously
teen mom
my strange addiction
toddlers and tiaras

pretty much anything where people act stupid/crazy or are terrible parents, i will watch.

dont judge me too harshly

Day Two: Favorite Movie

2011-01-19T11:07:00.000-08:00

Again there is no way I can pick just one . . . so we will go with top 5 once more.

5. Garden State
the scene at the end where natalie portman is bawling her face off in the phone booth and its messy, snotty, real crying . . . and then zach braff comes back and says his plan was stupid and lets be together! oh man. thats love.

4. Transformers
two words: shai. labeouf.

3. Shes the Man
amanda bynes pretending to be a boy, genius. but i really think the eunice makes that movie a real winner.

2. McClintock!
john wayne is the man. maureen o'hara is a babe. the cliche drunken indians (while def racist) are classic.

1. The Philadelphia Story
cary grant. jimmy stewart. katherine hepburn. how is this not every ones favorite movie?

2011-01-18T12:44:00.000-08:00

Day One: Your Favorite Song

its sooo hard for me to pick one favorite song. my music library is almost 7000 songs, so i'm going to go with : Current Top 5 Songs

5. Cricketz - New Boys

4. Sweater Song - Hedley

3. I Won't - Keri Noble (acoustic version)

2. Undertow - Sarah Bareilles

1. I Gave You All - Mumford and Sons

The 30 day blog challenge.

2011-01-18T12:43:00.000-08:00

I like the idea of this ;

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

high strung

2011-01-18T12:14:00.000-08:00

i have a new love in my life
its sometimes painful
always a challenge
and gives me one of the highest highs i ever experianced
(get it?)
and i've never felt more accomplished

no thats not me . . .
but i can totes do that

srsly?

2011-01-16T15:15:00.000-08:00

i'm not entirely sure if this is legit, but i can't stop reading it.

NEW ALBANY

words words words

2011-01-16T12:57:00.000-08:00

two books in two days, and i LOVED them both
and yes capitalization was necessary there

will grayson, will grayson
by david levithan and john green

before i fall
by lauren oliver

read both
NOW
do it NOW

fuck yoga

2011-01-16T11:09:00.000-08:00

this is so awesome . . .

because i hate yoga too

book binge

2011-01-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

books i have recently read:

the grapes of wrath
of mice and men
breakfast of champions
graceling
the boyfriend list
the boy book
the treasure map of boys
incarceron
plain kate
the knife of never letting go
the ask and the answer
the truth about forever

books on my shelf waiting to be read:

the winter of our discontent
1984
slaughterhouse 5
the sound and the fury

books on request at the library:

before i fall
will grayson will grayson
leviathan
cast in silence
valley of the dolls
freak magnet
monsters of men
sapphique
howls moving castle
the replacement
almost perfect

as you can see my current reading tastes swing wildly from classic fiction to currect YA novels. i decided that i needed to get a move on reading all the books i've always ment to - the faulkner, steinbeck,etc - but i keep getting distracted by these fabulous YA books i find on Forever Young Adult. a website i've fallen in love with because they have a sweet valley high drinking game and also hated the end of mockingjay (for real suzanne collins?).

ps. the old man and the sea was on that list somewhere until i accidently ran it through the washing machine. turns out the 'sanitize' setting will completely destroy a paperback . . . who knew?

2011-01-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

i'm so in love with this kid . . .

in a totally non-creepy, cougar, cradle robbing kinda way of course

return of the FSBF part two

2010-12-02T13:00:00.000-08:00

last week i had a lunch meeting with my boss
and by lunch meeting i mean, i went to her house and ate home made soup, talked about dance and played with the baby. the meeting was with two of our newest teachers who will be doing their exam in february, and since i have passed two such exams recently i was asked to come and pass on any super smart advice i might have. as i pulled up to the house i realized his car was there.

the FSBF.

now i dont know if i mentioned this before but he happens to be my boss's brother.
and said boss has made it very clear to all her staff that while we would be allowed to marry her brothers, there is no dating allowed. we almost lost a ballet teacher after her other brother made some poor choices.

anyway i walked in and almost bumped right into him
on his way up to the shower
to have a shower
in the nude
while i tried to pretend like i was listening to the conversation and not thinking off limits thoughts

dudes he made me lunch.

okay so we were the only two who wanted paninis, but still!
also he laughs at my jokes
and he LIKES talking about dance stuff
AND he adores his niece, he even changes diapers

i'm so screwed.